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Depression Strikes

May 13, 2011

Just when everything in my life was slowly getting a wee bit better…

I had a really good day. Filled with nothing but nice things. Joy, love brimming outta me.

Late night I crashed. Din’t know what hit me.

Cried and cried and then cried some more.

Nothing made sense. I wanted nothing as badly as death.

Still I hadn’t lost sense. I just knew what I wanted. To be out. Out from pain that was crushing me.

Hours of crying. Not being able to sleep.

Somewhere in there I slipped off into sleep.

Woke up in the morning. This was not my usual crying then refreshed, all that pain into tears crying. I could still cry. In a second. Still tired. Still hurting.

I knew I needed help.

So here starts my journey with anti-depressants.

I just kept putting it off, thinking I had sadness that could be brushed off.

Well its not brushing off so with exams closing in and no way that I can do much about depressing forces.

Been a coupla days into my Sertralin + Bupropion (= Zoloft + Wellbutrin)

First few days

cons

  • been so absolutely jittery
  • fingers trembling
  • slight tremor of the jaw at odd times
  • a wee bit of palpitations

pros

  • I’m alert
  • focused
  • studying
  • happy
  • content
  • non- lethargic
  • not thought much about sleep
  • not too hungry
  • not sad
  • most importantly = NOT CRYING and in the dumps
  • something awake in me

Hope Mom doesn’t notice the tremors. Not all that much but they come and go infrequently.

Anyway expecting adverse effects bouncing off in a coupla more days as my system gets used to it. Or I would be thinking of reducing the dose initially.

There are a lot of things to thank God for. Right now for me, its Anti-depressants. 🙂 Thank you Lord.

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. Grey Goose, Dirty permalink
    May 13, 2011 4:46 PM

    Good for you for deciding they were the right thing for you now. Sounds as if they are helping, so that is wonderful!

  2. Deborah the Closet Monster permalink
    May 13, 2011 5:22 PM

    I hope you’re also thanking yourself for having the wisdom to see the right path, and taking it! That’s an incredibly difficult thing, so props to you 🙂

  3. Karen Pearce permalink
    May 24, 2011 10:45 PM

    Good luck with the meds 🙂 x

  4. June 2, 2011 7:50 AM

    😦 I so relate….. Keep writing… I really needed to read this post tonight!

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