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Domestic Abuse

April 3, 2011

When I reached this land of horrors (current temporary residence) I really had no clue about domestic violence as such.

Till I recently started reading more about it, I dint realize how rampant domestic abuse really is.

When I left home, what I was leaving behind other than my loving parents were extremely pushy parents, years of verbal abuse. I was an extremely high achiever. When I brought in those great grades, yes there was the “good”, much later coz before that came the “did anyone get more than you?”. My love for sport, music, art were severely discouraged and my world consisted of nothing but books.

Perhaps I’m trying to find an excuse for all the decisions I made in a new place. 18 year old me really was at the worst possible stage to make a decision.

Perhaps you too were at a vulnerable point of life.

Love. That four-letter word for me at that point meant escape from worthlessness. It meant happiness. It meant having someone deeply care about you and that dint involve the only thing I knew, academics. I cared deeply about him. And that somehow translated to self-sacrifice.

Soon my life switched to a cycle of interference-control-abuse-violence-apologies-abuse then again. Despite a much bruised body and mind, I refused to acknowledge that something was wrong! Anything for love remember. Lol.

Love doesn’t hurt, guys!!!! Now I want to scream this loud to people who are silently suffering around. When I think back, I wish I confided in someone or somehow I was saved from all that by some intervention.

Please if you are in a situation where you are hurting, in pain, believe me, its never too late!!!! Get out!! Save yourself!!

Unless I was abused, I would never have understood a woman who stayed back in a relationship inspite of abuse. Who continues to care about her abuser. I may have thought, “what she needs is a cure for foolishness“.

Why did God let this happen to me. Often the thought runs through my mind. However I decide to hold on to my God who had been with me, holding me tight and safe. There is a divine reason, however my mind tries to escape that fact, God does everything for a reason. I am a much better person than what I once was. Guess thats one part of that divine plan.

God Bless you all 🙂

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. April 5, 2011 7:53 PM

    I feel very proud of you as I read these reflections. If only everyone in that wretched boat could come to see things as you have. Love, love, love the obvious personal growth.

  2. April 8, 2011 10:31 PM

    Hello Katie. I wanted to write “Hello Katie!” but decided that I probably shouldn’t get that familiar, as I’ve never written to you before. 🙂 I see that you subscribed to my blog, so first I’d like to say “thank you”. I decided to check out yours today and was happily impressed. I’m happy to see that you’re writing, and using it as a therapy of sorts (admittedly or not). It DOES wonders for the soul! That you decided to “…hold on to my God who had been with me, holding me tight and safe” is a huge epiphany in and of itself. I think from that you will find endless hope, and share your testimony in the lives of many young women that have gone through similar hurtful experiences. That admission is huge, especially when you could have chosen to walk away from God because of what happened. If you don’t mind, I’d like to encourage you to check out Monica Coleman’s story at http://www.monicaacoleman.com. You may find some wonderful nuggets of inspiration about using your voice as a platform for generating awareness and affecting widespread change…one girl…one woman at a time.

    Be Well!

    • April 9, 2011 2:20 PM

      Hey SomerEmpress!! 🙂 well its you I need to thank for the inspiring read and hence the subscribe. Sure thanks, on the way to Monica’s next.
      Yes it is so easy to walk away from God. I’ve been at points when I’ve been bitter thinking why? But good God always has a way to hold us from falling too far.
      Hope so! Thank you so much for the encouragement 🙂
      God Bless.

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