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Brother – Part1

March 19, 2011

Mood: deep in thought

Place: land of horrors

Scene: flashback

Bout 10 at night my cousin V calls me. Seems my other cousin M had already boarded a bus to my place!! Haaahhh!! In 8hours I could freaking expect him here! V had given M the directions & well I had started giving V a piece of my mind when, hell, I realized that yeah atleast he warned me!!

M was my favorite cousin. I dont have siblings. (Humph. Dont even think of feeding me more of that only-child crap. So done with that.) After I reached the land of horrors, easy access made us cousins pretty close. M & me were like magnets. Inseparable. We used to chat up straight for hours even after all the other cousins had long dozed away. He was almost 2 years older than me.

I had a messy house here with exams just done & my mate A had rushed home this weekend for cash. Lol. (And her packing for home had left the place even more messier. As if I wasn’t enough.) Dragging up dirty laundry, piles of books from the hall, I remembered something else. The Jerk. (Back then he wasn’t the jerk, he was Mr. Prince Charming? Well something like that.)

I called him up all excited, not in the least prepared for the response I got.
Goes somewhere along this…
Me: M’s coming! I’m thinking we could all hang out this weekend.
Him: Why is he coming?
Me: Just visiting I guess. But that isn’t…
Him: Doesn’t he know you are alone?
Me: How will he. A just left an hour back. (Wondering how it matters…)
Him: I don’t like it.
Me: huh?
Him: I don’t like him coming.

Anyway the rest of the convo is not worth the time I type.

Much of M’s time with me was filled with the Jerk’s calls to me accompanied by threats. (I’m ashamed even thinking of what I was.) After we returned home, earlier than planned as I was close to tears.
M was staying over. Leaving the next day. Jerk was ranting on the phone. Ranting led to abuses. He kept swearing that we were…well staying together according to him meant just. I was such a mushy delicate little thing then. Couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It shocked me so much, that I was a sobbing, shaking meess.

M teared up. He’s a guy. Said he couldn’t see me cry this way. I was a mess. He said it was all his fault. He seemed to think if he dint come none of this would have happened.
We parted next afternoon. We did have a lot of great moments. A lot of fun. Him trying desperately to play big bro as usual was a delight. However the underlying stress dint escape us.

This is not about me. Nor is it about the Jerk. Its about M.

He never called me after reaching. Neither did I. I was too ashamed to.

He called me on my birthday & then me on his.

Its been years since & well we’ve never really talked that way again.

In fact he avoids me. So I avoid him too.

So I damaged a great relationship beyond repair. Way to go Katie.

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